Kid Infested ....

4 months back we had a group outing to Lonavala / Khandala from office. The monsoons were at there best and it was a perfect setting. The boss’ secretary had made all the arrangements to so I did not bother much reached office quiet early in the day. We were a group of around 7 in Pune and another 10 had to join from Mumbai. So we decided to take 2 cars from Pune. One car got full with a gang of close friends me and another guy ( a trainee) left out. Now the boss (a not so old lady with two kids less than 6yrs old, returned from US after 15 yrs) had got her SUV and would travel in it, but she is now not so keen of letting us in her car. On a little inquiring she said it wasn’t in a good shape and we would not feel comfy in it as it was a ‘KID INFESTED VEHICLE’. According to her, she was used to it but it wasn’t a perfect outing vehicle for us.

Ultimately we got into it as it did not make much sense to take another car. Though I did find some weight in the statement ‘Kid Infested’ but thought it was more of a tantrum thrown in by the rich and famous. The car had a characteristic chocolaty smell with some small / stuffed toys on the last seat, there were also some sketch pen marks on the seat covers, but else it was ok. Could understand her apprehensions for not letting us in because her image was hi-fi and the state of the car did not fit into her perfect definition.

Had a nice laugh for a few days with group members and friends on something being ‘Kid Infested’. Though I am not the kinds of koochi poochi for small babies but ok they look nice can spend sometime playing with a kid (unless it decides that its shower time for you). Forwards with kids photos are ok .. nothing beyond. Had heard of kid infested by something (lice) But the idea of something being kid infested was not so good to hear the first time.

Now last month I am on this flight coming back from my alma mater where I go on an official visit on a recruitment campaign. The flight takes off at 7 in the morning from there, stops at Goa mid way and reaches Bombay at 10. Incidentally it’s a hopping Air India Express flight coming from Bahrain which started the previous night from there. As we (me along with a senior guy from office) enter the plane, I smell something fishy and suddenly I remember the Lonavala trip. Once in we find the plane full with kids mommas and families all over. There is these toddler sitting on my seat (window facing) while momma is shouting for him.

We haven’t slept the night before as were busy with the placement process till 4 am and had to leave campus for airport by 5 and have decided to have rest on the flight and work the next day. Once the door is closed and flight takes off - the shrieks and shouts become more audible and frequent and what starts now is another very unbearable sound… of kids throwing out all the goodies they had all this time. Slowly the stench becomes unbearable, there is no 5 minute interval there isn’t a new sound of some kid somewhere erupting like the most vociferous volcanoes on earth, while the air hostesses (no one younger than Sonia Gandhi) rushing around with those puke-bags.
Meanwhile the crew starts serving breakfast and the mommas start feeding their kids again, with request for extra milk and extra eggs coming in. I just handed over my packet back, as could not imagine eating something in those inhumane conditions.

Once the flight stops in Goa (thankfully) some kid parties get down. While the ground staff is again called to clean up and spray some room fresheners. After a good 45 minute halt the flight takes off. This time the scene is much better as the staff has decided not serve food to kids.

At Bombay airport when coming out, this senior colleague of mine says “It was hell, so many kids and all in the best of their spirits. They will have to use disinfectants to clear up all the mess”…. It just reminded me of Kid Infested things.